Porthault for Dummies

I have a big regret that really bugs me. Not big as in it majorly affected my life, but rather one of those nagging regrets in which I could really kick myself. It involves Porthault linen. Years ago my sister participated in a neighborhood yard sale, and my mother donated a set of Porthault table linen that looked similar to the carnation pattern shown above. The napkins were a bit worn and the tablecloth had some holes in it. And dumb me didn't rescue the Porthault for myself. I thought "Why would I want a tablecloth with holes?" Because it's Porthault, stupid, and it costs a fortune! Now, I'd give my right arm for a Porthault tablecloth, but of course my budget doesn't quite allow for it. (And please don't excoriate me; proceeds from the yard sale did not benefit a charity or anything. It was strictly for profit. My sister made a whopping $30 from those linen. See, I told you I missed an opportunity there.)


Had I had the sense and style of Deeda Blair, I could have recycled the holey Porthault (or perhaps I should call it the Holy Porthault) and used it in some ingenious way. Mrs. Blair took her trousseau sheets and made bed curtains out of them. Truly, how smart is that? Of course, I couldn't say that my Porthault was trousseau, but I could have made something up rather than admitting that it had been saved from the Peachtree Hills Yard Sale.


Or perhaps I could have made the cloth into a shower curtain, albeit one that was a little worn and that may not have completely covered my shower. But after seeing this shower curtain née bed sheet in the home of Kate Rheinstein Brodsky, well, I wish that I had thought of this.


The napkins could have come in handy too. They would have made great tray cloths. You know, for when I serve myself breakfast in bed on my breakfast tray. I really do have a breakfast tray, and it's actually Porthault. I wish it got used more often than it does, but going to all of that trouble to set a tray for yourself is a drag. You need someone to do it for you...like CZ Guest. This is probably why her tray, above, looks so enticing.


Or, I could have used a napkin to protect my bedside table from my water glass. Two of the chicest people I know use Porthault cocktail napkins for such a thing: Chris Spitzmiller and Todd Romano.

Oh well, I know that Mom's Porthault is probably in a good home now. In fact, I remember how quickly the female customer scooped it up. I bet she thought my sister and I were a bunch of dummies. And you know what? She was right!

(Deeda Blair photo from House Beautiful, 9/2001; Brodsky photo from Elle Decor, March 2010, William Waldron photographer; CZ Guest breakfast tray from House & Garden, June 2004; Romano bedside photo from New York Social Diary, Jeffrey Hirsch photographer)